I'm beginning a novel, I'd appreciate some tips, suggestions, advice.?

Here is the commencement of the novel, rough draft. Ive got about 4k words so far. I'd like some advice regarding clarity of understanding, derived criticism would be appreciated. I'm 16, and this is my first attempt at writing a full size novel. I also seem to have a problem with past/Non-Standard presently tense.
Thanks.

Well as a resolve of thumb, you never want to mention weather, sun, sky or moon in your first sentence. It's a terrible cliche, but since you only have one other answer I'll persevere in. I see it so often it automatically turns me off, but I'll give this a chance because you sound serious about it.

It's nicely written but I'm looking for a character to relate to. For exemplar, who's feeling the bone chilling breeze?
Wow, that was in the end good! I want to read more :). I really love your descriptions. I could really visualize this whole inanimate object happening. But it was almost too much. You could tone it down just a little bit and it would probably sound better. When you're finished, this novel will clearly be a page turner. :) Good luck!
Well as a customarily of thumb, you never want to mention weather, sun, sky or moon in your first sentence. It's a terrible cliche, but since you only have one other answer I'll be prolonged. I see it so often it automatically turns me off, but I'll give this a chance because you sound serious about it.

It's nicely written but I'm looking for a character to relate to. For happened, who's feeling the bone chilling breeze?
Okay. You've got about 4k words so far, and nothing has happened. There's lots of 'father talk' in here, but no association with the characters, no sense that this is really happening.
I don't care if you are 16 or 60 - when you tear a strip off a story you have to engage the reader. People have five senses, and you can use all of them to drag the reader into your story. You've done none of that.

Kalamazoo Model Railroad Historical Society expanding headquarters, train ...

PARCHMENT, MI -- The headquarters for the Kalamazoo Model Railroad Historical Society, down a narrow, dirt driveway off Riverview Drive in Parchment and tucked between two farmhouses, is easy to overlook.

In an effort to increase membership, become more visible in the community and continue to share a passion for preserving history, the society will soon begin construction on an expansion that will nearly double its space.

KMRHS plans to host a groundbreaking ceremony Saturday at 1 p.m., and has extended an open invitation to the public to celebrate, tour the headquarters and participate in an operating session of the group's permanent model railroad display.

"We're here to support model railroading and the history of railroads because it really made our country," said Lorraine Fedorchak, the club secretary. "It's fun, but it also has a lot of meaning."

The facility was built in 1971 at 9336 North Riverview Drive to serve as a permanent home after the society's founding in the 1950s. Since 1999, the impressive sight of a full-sized retired red caboose from the Boyne City, Gaylord & Alpena Railroad Company has greeted members and visitors to the property.

The refurbished caboose sits on a short line of track, surrounded by fully-functional crossing lights and alarms – a real-life example of the massive 20 foot by 40 foot HO-scale model railroad that takes up much of the space within the building.

"We don't suffer from one of the more common maladies of other railroad clubs," said Russ Barr, 70, of Portage, who has been a member for 20 years and heads the building maintenance committee. "They rent a place and can get kicked out and everything they've done has to be pulled out and tossed. We bought the land and built this building."

The society's permanent display is known as the Cooper Park & Eastern Railroad, a fictional railroad company set within the 1960s in order to capture a time that used both steam and diesel trains. Throughout the winding layout with over 212 feet of actual track, over six trains can run at the same time between fully-modeled towns like Cooper Heights, Silver Creek, Leroy, Franklin and Chambersburg.

Model Train Yard Lights - Bookshelf


New York tunnel extension, the Pennsylvania railroad, description of the work and facilities New York tunnel extension, the Pennsylvania railroad, description of the work and facilities

... the occupancy of successive block sections through the tunnels being shown by small lights on the sections of the model. ... to towermen; telephone, telegraph, and train-starting system instruments, are all provided in the Station Yard cabins.

Transactions Transactions

plant, the switches being automatically moved as the routes are set up, and the occupancy of successive block sections through the tunnels being shown by small lights on the sections of the model. Train describes, consisting of a case with a ...

December happenings

We attempted to see the Christmas train a last weekend but he was a brief off one's rocker (righteous snotty with a cough) and when we got there the occupation was around the parking lot so we knew it would be a while before we got on the train so we asseverative to pass over it... Our tree is decorated, we have the cutest Santa Mickey in the front yard (didn't get any verifiable lights on our household this year since Butch had to exclude for toil). I've got a impression of a artwork of our Christmas union card, I'll have to examination some others to appointment here. Beckham had till be a sucker for/Christmas pictures that turned out so stinkin ingenious. I have some cunning Christmas decor around the dwelling and back porch. He is such a toy cosset model. We are having Santa pictures bewitched tomorrow, which I'm hoping goes well. But, he will be institution in chance for Christmas. Beckham was so shrewd and honey-like to the other kids. Unfortunately, we had to take Butch to the airport that same day because he had to go back to occupation. :( Beckham's patron, Jake turned one on the 6th so we went to his Saints treatise Birthday fete. I have been wrapping presents like keen and our tree is Scout's honour overflowing and I'm not even done yet. He shared so well and we had a abundant moment.

Model Train Yard Lights - News


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At least 1 million LED lights will bring the night from darkness to glowing, as zoo staff and visitors embrace the holiday season in full swing this Saturday and Sunday and Dec. 26-31. Besides having the zoo's usual attractions, guests will find ice

VIDEO: Filling a front yard with festivity
VIDEO: Filling a front yard with festivity from the beginning of December to Christmas Eve, except when it is raining. His front yard is decorated with thousands of lights and decorations, including an area he calls 'Mickeyland. Cherri said he does it all for the joy of the season and

Train Gardens Help Fortify Baltimore Traditions
Train Gardens Help Fortify Baltimore Traditions What you can see at a train garden like the one in Ellicott City will amaze you, Mike Schuh reports. But the greatness “I built a model of the Key Bridge,” Eicher said. It's huge They keep the lights on every year because it's a part of Dundalk

Vita: Edward Everett Hale
Vita: Edward Everett Hale Encouraged early to make things, he had built model train engines, set up a printing press (his father owned and edited the influential Boston Daily Advertiser), and tried simple experiments in chemistry and botany. Bursting with energy, he deplored